Legend of the Sandsquatch (2006) Movie Review
“What the hell is that?”
Second movie of the night is placed in computer for my consumption. The moment the creature comes on the screen, I hit stop and hit eject. On the disc it reads LEGEND OF the SANDSQUATCH. SAND…ha-ha. At first, I thought it was a typo and after seeing the creature, I just laughed and then quickly followed it with a groan, “Oh No!”
Well, that second glance confirmed the creature would not be a hairy Bigfoot as I thought, I would be watching. I totally misread the title and upon the big discovery of the creature…was immediately disappointed. A mark that couldn’t be held against the film, not its fault I can’t read straight at midnight.
Well, where to begin with this story…how about in 1956, three friends are horsing around with an old camera and suddenly two of the trio turn and stop and stare, the aspiring filmmaker thought his friends were pulling a prank and boasted that they would not put one over on him and then he turned around…Yep, you guessed it, this is another LOST FOOTAGE movie. What did they see…WELL they saw a SANDSQUATCH and instead of holding off and building suspense…the viewer or in this case…Moi saw it up close and in my face (on laptop), a very tall and lanky raw fleshed creature, attacked the trio and killed two. The living one and another friend vow to find the creature and kill it for the murder of their friends.
Current time…the granddaughter of the filmmaker becomes worried when her grandfather does not return from his routine “hunting” trip and goes in search of him with a friend. Okay, this is enough. It is pointless to tell you what she discovers and cruel. This over the top goofy storyline is boring and the multiple creature shots are totally overkill. And the creature itself lame. Grant you he looks like someone literally rubbed him raw with sandpaper and the big thatch of private hair on the front of him was gross and comical.
No one can tell me…what I should expect with low budget…because that will piss me off. Low Budget does not equate to poor movie. Each filmmaker has a budget and it is what he or she does with that budget that adds to the production. If they start with a good solid story and then add the sound, special effects, make-up, scenery, talent then how can they go wrong…they can’t. If the put 110% into their vision and utilize that budget the best with the availability they have, then no one can say, “You know it was a low budget film.” Look at Hollywood…what’s their excuse? Don’t give me excuses…give me and the rest of the horror genre fans something that entertains us and takes our mind off our lives, for a couple of hours…but don’t give us crap and expect us to like it, because the filmmakers made it. Sorry, this is another movie I would pass on. Not even the creature effects can salvage this movie. I looked at twice and that two times too many. No Score. 0/10
- Jessicka Rabid (2010) Movie Review (horrorphilia.com)